Struggling with emotional overwhelm, I had been told that I should try meditation, TONS of times before actually trying it out. (Anyone else need a million kicks in the behind before taking action??)
I always thought that if I wasn't going to be meditating for more than 10 minutes, it wasn't worth it. The point of meditation was to sit there for hours, right? And who has time for that? (insert eyeroll emoji)
I probably wouldn't have tried it if it wasn't for the Shaman I was studying with who told me that I have great intuition + energetic healing ability (Owl medicine = Witch) that I would harness and learn from if I were to sit in meditation. Being told that I was to become a witch was literally a childhood dream come true - so OF COURSE I started meditating, how could I not align with that calling??!
My roommate would come back and think I had church going on in my room because I actually became obsessed with learning to be in a meditative state and would be jamming soothing sounds to create the perfect atmosphere.
It took a lot of me being frustrated with my own thoughts before really understanding that thoughts are natural, and instead of being mad that they are there - all I need to do is observe them, and let them go.
Essentially, I was meditating so often, listening to many different meditations, from all kinds of teachers that I was quickly able to form my own way of doing it.
A way that was easy for me to drop in, become still, become present, and it was EASY.
I was soon having visions, getting the tingles & exploring my consciousness in a way that is actually quite indescribable.
This is the form of meditation I teach, and that I offer in my Mindfulness Basics Course.
A few months after getting into a very regular meditation habit - I began noticing thoughts that I hadn't ever heard before. One of them being "you don't deserve to eat" ... my whole life I have been accused of having an eating disorder and my whole life I have denied and gotten pissed at the people who said this about me. I had never heard my thoughts. I always claimed to have a low appetite and that was why I was skinny.
Not only did that open up a whole new journey of recovery and deep healing work - but also it showed me the power of meditation.
You see, we shape our views and beliefs about the world from the time we are concieved until 7 years of age. These thoughts and beliefs are on a loop in our minds, most of which we don't even hear!!
I like to use the analogy of moving next to a set of train tracks. When you first move in, those trains are loud AF, but after awhile it becomes like white noise. The same is true of our thoughts.
Meditation allows you to observe the natural thoughts that are on loop. During the meditation, you're training your mind to become the observer - then throughout your day is actually when the magic happens. You'll be able to hear thoughts that you've never heard before, but explain why you are the way you are.
Without meditation, I'm convinced that I would still have the belief that I just have a lower appetitie than other people. I also wouldn't have been able to hear the thousands of other false belief systems that came out of the shadow since beginning this work.
I love helping beginners with this work and occasionally I offer live meditations - sign up for my newsletter to be notifyed of when they happen!
PS - if this story moved you, and has you interested in meditation but not sure where to start - check out my Mindfulness Basics Course - it's specifically for YOU!